CEO of the Household

Welcome to the 17th Edition of Live Rich Retire Rich

Let’s get real—being the CEO of a company is tough, but being the CEO of your household? That’s a whole different kind of challenge. We're not just talking about the physical tasks of cooking or laundry, but the endless cognitive labor—the mental load of planning, anticipating, scheduling, and organizing that many women juggle daily. And let’s be honest, this role doesn’t come with vacation days or bonuses!

In this edition, we’re tackling a topic that hits close to home: the invisible workload that weighs many of us down. We’ll look at how it impacts our well-being, careers, and relationships—and most importantly, what we can do about it. But first, let’s dive into what this mental workload really is and why it’s so exhausting.

Overwhelmed? The Hidden Mental Load Many Women Still Carry

If you’ve ever found yourself mentally juggling a million things—meal planning, grocery lists, your kid’s homework, scheduling the plumber, and remembering to send that birthday card—you’re no stranger to the concept of cognitive labor. This behind-the-scenes, mental to-do list isn’t written down anywhere, but it keeps the household running smoothly.

But here’s the catch: while the division of physical household labor has improved over the years, the mental work often still falls on women. Whether you’re a full-time working professional or managing a household, this cognitive load can feel overwhelming—and frankly, it’s exhausting.

The Numbers Don’t Lie

While women have reduced their share of physical household chores over the decades, the mental labor remains disproportionately on their shoulders. Research shows that women are still responsible for about 73% of cognitive labor, whether it’s planning family vacations, scheduling dentist appointments, or ensuring the pantry is stocked.

Not only does this imbalance lead to stress and burnout, but it can also affect relationships. As Eve Rodsky, author of Fair Play, puts it: “When cognitive labor isn’t shared, marriages suffer. And yes, that includes the romance department.”

Quiz: Are You the CEO of Your Household?

Let’s see how much cognitive labor you’re really managing. Answer the questions below and keep reading for the answers at the end!

1. Who schedules doctor’s appointments, playdates, and after-school activities?

   • A) I do, obviously.

   • B) We split it 50/50.

   • C) My partner handles it.

2. When it comes to planning meals, grocery shopping, and knowing when the milk is running out, who’s in charge?

   • A) Me again.

   • B) Sometimes me, sometimes my partner.

   • C) My partner takes the lead.

3. How often do you find yourself thinking about tomorrow’s tasks while trying to focus on work or relax?

   • A) All the time.

   • B) Occasionally.

   • C) Rarely.

Keep reading to find out how you scored at the end!

Solutions? Yes, Please!

So, how do we lighten the load of cognitive labor and make our lives a little easier? The good news is that small changes can go a long way in creating balance. Let’s look at some practical solutions:

1. Track It to Tackle It: Want to know how much cognitive labor you’re really doing? Spend a week tracking it. Jot down every mental task you handle—whether it’s remembering to buy dog food or keeping up with school emails. This gives you a clear picture of what you’re managing.

2. Talk It Out: Once you’ve got a clear view, it’s time to sit down with your partner. Have an honest conversation about what each person handles and how to redistribute the mental load. Make sure it’s a calm discussion, not in the middle of a chaotic moment!

3. Divide and Conquer: Rodsky’s “Fair Play” card system is a game-changer. Think of every task as a card—whether it’s meal planning or booking appointments—and divide them fairly. Whoever holds a card, owns the entire task, from start to finish.

4. Weekly Check-ins: One conversation won’t fix everything. Set up weekly check-ins to review how the workload is being shared and make adjustments as needed. Regular communication helps prevent resentment and keeps things balanced.

By taking these steps, you’ll not only reduce stress, but also improve your relationships and have more energy for the things you actually enjoy!

Investing in Yourself: Your Most Valuable Asset

Don’t just think about investments in stocks—think about investing in yourself. Here are a few simple ways to do it:

• Level Up Your Skills: Take that course you’ve been eyeing or work on professional development. The investment you make in yourself now will pay off for years to come.

• Find a Mentor or Coach: Seeking guidance from a mentor or enrolling in a coaching program can accelerate your personal and financial growth. The MRS Independent program, for example, is designed to help you break through barriers and achieve new heights.

• Make Time for Self-Care: Don’t overlook self-care. Whether it's exercise, relaxation, or simply taking time to rest, caring for yourself is crucial for long-term success.

Remember, you are your greatest asset—investing in yourself is one of the smartest moves you can make.

Gratitude and Reflection: Celebrate the Wins

As you take steps to balance cognitive labor, remember to celebrate the wins—big or small. It’s easy to focus on what still needs to be done, but recognizing your accomplishments is key to maintaining a positive mindset.

Here’s how to practice gratitude and reflection:

• Celebrate Your Wins: Did you manage to delegate a task or create a little more balance in your week? That’s a win! Give yourself credit for progress.

• Learn from Challenges: Not everything goes perfectly, and that’s okay. Reflect on what you can learn from the hurdles, and use those lessons to move forward.

• Express Gratitude: Take a moment to appreciate the people in your life who support you. Gratitude keeps us grounded and connected, especially when things feel overwhelming.

From Najma’s Desk: Final Thoughts

Quiz Answers:

1. If you answered A, you’re likely the CEO of the household. Time to start sharing that mental load!

2. If you answered A again, you’re probably handling all the meal planning and grocery runs. Delegate some of that responsibility!

3. If you answered A a third time, it’s clear that cognitive labor is a constant companion for you. Let’s work on redistributing those tasks.

If you mostly answered B, you’re already doing a good job sharing the load, but there’s still room for improvement!

If you answered C, congrats! It sounds like you’ve got a balanced approach—but don’t forget to show appreciation for those handling the tasks behind the scenes.

In Abundance,

Najma Zanelli
https://talk2najma.com
Founder, NAZ Global Consultancy
Email: [email protected]

Thank you for being an essential part of the LiveRichRetireRich community. I’m here to help and support you through this important journey.